“kalsarikännit” – the Finnish word for drinking at home in your underwear with no intention of going out. Otherwise known as Friday night.
TGIF (seriously) and here we have the second edition of The Weekend Buzz: a roundup of the most interesting stories, things to learn, and things you’ll definitely want to do. All in one email. A happy hour for your inbox, if you will.
Growing up, the show Friends was my thing. I desperately wanted to be the uber cool Rachel, but I was sadly more similar to the neurotic Monica (though I desperately tried to copy all of Jennifer Aniston’s haircuts and outfits). I remember watching it thinking, “now that’s what grown up life is like.”
But there was one episode that just seemed crazy to me. Chandler fell asleep during a meeting and woke up to find out he’d agreed to take a position in Tulsa, OK. Yeah, right. Who would actually agree to something so crazy and then not be able to correct it and say “no”. Come on.
But then I got into the working world and I realized that all of a sudden I was doing things that I didn’t want to do. I was traveling every week when I took a job that specifically had no travel. I was taking on project after project while secretly drowning trying to juggle all of the projects that I had up in the air. And I wasn’t working on the things that actually aligned with what I wanted to do with my career. Occasionally I would try to say no, but somehow that no never stuck and my situation didn’t change.
I had, effectively, moved to Tulsa.
When I started my own business and realized that I had to figure out how to say no, the right way, I tried a few different approaches – from the assertive “no” to the apologetic “I’m sorry, but…” (and occasionally completely avoided the situation with no response). But it was still a struggle.
I finally found the genius of the Yes! No. Yes? approach – from William Ury, founder of the negotiation program at Harvard, and, well, I finally almost feel like I’m not saying no. But I am. And it’s great.
Do you say no? How do you say no?
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau made his way into the hearts of women around the world with his comments on feminism. So much yes.
Feel like you’re not getting credit for your work? You’re in good company. Mother Jones published “I Made That Bitch Famous”, a brief history of men taking credit for women’s accomplishments. While all a cringe-worthy, to us the most jaw-dropping was from the 2016 Rio Olympics. 7 months ago. Groan.
Are you smarter than a 5 year old? I’m certainly not smarter than this 5 year old, when it comes to spelling at least. Check out the youngest participant to ever head to the Scripps National Spelling Bee – adorable bow in hair and all. And test yourself with her list of winning words. The final one? Jnana. Yeah, no.
In case you missed it:
Do you ever say, “I keep getting too much work put on my plate”, and “ugh. I can’t believe they asked me to do that”? Odds are that you, along with pretty much everyone else, have a hard time saying no. But there’s another way to say “no” and it looks like: Yes! No. Yes? From the founder of Harvard’s Negotiation Program comes a strategy for a positive no. I took it for a test drive and now it’s a daily habit.
Talking about money with friends can be awkward (though for the record, we fully support women talking about money and think there shouldn’t be shame in it). Luckily for this lady, she turned to a trusted friend for the pep talk she needed in order to negotiate her salary (and make $14k more). But there’s another lesson: talk to men about your salary as well. Read on.