The Weekend Buzz will be back to its regular format next week, but this week I wanted to pause and write something a little more personal.

Last week Jordan and I were thrilled to welcome little Henry Ellis into our family. He’s our first child and well, let’s just say I had no idea what to expect. (I’ve included a picture at the end if you’re interested but I totally get it if you’re not – babies were not my thing before I had him).

These last 10 days have been a whirlwind and after an extended stay in a hospital room that costs more than any hotel I’ve ever stayed in as well as a lot of 2 AM Amazon orders, one thing is incredibly clear:

Even with all the prepping and planning, this little guy is going to be expensive.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s absolutely worth every penny and more. He’s the best. But as I was prepping an article for next week’s Equal Pay Day on April 10th, I couldn’t help but get more frustrated than usual with the pay gap. We all know women are paid less, but sometimes those stats feel so removed from our day to day life.

How do they really relate to our life?

As I sit here thinking about how to create a financially secure future for our little guy, the pay gap feels more personal.

I wasn’t always great at negotiating – it was a skill that I had to learn and to be honest, it made me super uncomfortable at first. Now that I’m self-employed there are moments that I still struggle to charge what I should. But as I look at this little guy I know that pitching for bigger jobs and upping my rates won’t just benefit me, it’ll benefit his future as well.

Women graduating business school negotiated for, on average, 7% less pay than their male classmates. That’s so much better than the average pay gap where women earn 83% of what men make, but it’s still significant.

I did a little math and to me (for him) that 7% pay gap represents:

  • Fully funding his 529 plan for the year, or
  • Sending him to the nice nursery school down the road, or
  • Flying all of his grandparents out to London every year for a visit

You don’t have to have a child to put the pay gap into perspective. It can be about the house you live in, the vacations you take, the debt you need to pay off, or the future that you want to have. Whatever means the most to you, use that, and rather than just listening to the stats, make the pay gap personal.

And once you do that, here are some resources to help you get started asking for more:

The free Negotiation Guide: Ready to ask for and get what you want? Get started with my quick and easy negotiation guide. No sweaty palms. No stammering. Just easy, breezy conversation. That results in more money. In your pocket. You’re welcome.

When should you ask for a raise? A 4 step timeline to help you plan your negotiation.

The 5 negotiation mistakes I’ve made. And let’s be honest – you’ve probably made some (or all) of these as well.

Why aren’t you asking? It’s time you break the follow-the-rules mentality that is keeping you from getting yours.

Not Your Father’s Negotiation Course. And if you want a little more structure and a little more guidance, I have an online negotiation course. This course uses videos and workbooks to walk you through a simple system to ask for – and get – what you want.

He’s thinking: “This pay gap thing is super messed up”


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